I figured I might also talk about my experience with having a stroke. It wasn't something I really wanted to put out on social media so i steered away from it. For some reason the flood of well wishes on FB from 'friends' you otherwise never hear from seems so insincere. (Please note that this is me being cynical, and is in no way a condemnation of those who post get-wells. I am guilty of this very thing also.) However I found myself wanting to share my thoughts about how having a driving restriction affected me. There were many changes that i needed to make, but i have found that not being free to visit my children and grandchildren was the hardest. The new diet, life habits, working at home, loss of independence, doctor appointments, bills; all of that I seemed to be able to take on like it was just another task of each day. But I was accustomed to seeing grandchildren a few times a month and that had to be less often, especially at first. I am well on my way to a full recovery so soon my empty place will be filled again with their laughter, wit and inquisitive young questions and insights. I'll be whole again. Weird as it sounds, sometimes I feel so selfish to fill my heart up with happiness by making myself a large part of their lives now, only to leave them to grieve when it is time for me to go. Hmmm. Would it be easier for them later if I was the gma they saw occasionally, who gave them cookies and hugs on holidays but they weren't attached to with their everyday lives. Well I don't know. But I will claim extreme selfishness since I do not have the will, strength or desire to be that gma. I just have to do everything in my power to live a long healthy life so when that day comes they are all mature enough to understand and so they have tons of wonderful memories to fall back on. Ok, I have my mission. I've got this!!